The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
I just got over my period in 3 days...I believe that is god's way of saying "go fuck an amazingly attractive Italian boy on vacation"
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
He kept dropping hints about giving me crabs. Like he called my pubes a nest and said he "hoped there weren't any eggs in there."
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
Every time I started to really hate the guys on tinder, the universe throws me a muscly beardy bone.
Happy hour crawl turned into power happy hour turned into tequila shots turned into I'm drunk in class on Cinco de Mayo at 7 am.
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
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