Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
Burnt my boob on a piece of hot waffle at work today..I feel like thats a new low point in my career..
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
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