i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
what kind of dress can i wear to my high school reunion that says "even though i'm more successful than all of you i'm still up for sex"?
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
I took multi-tasking to a new level. I just ate a plate of nachos off my lap while driving to the bar. And I barely got any on me.
I feel I should send an apology letter to my anesthesiologist.
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
Randomize
