My room smells like vodka and shame
apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
just threw the rents a curveball by making french toast and bacon when i came home sober. good luck tellin when im high/drunk now.
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
Taking shot for every red box on your worst bracket. I have 30. I might die tonight.
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
I have a cat, a bottle of wine, and a Brazilian man. I need to catch you up on my life
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
I asked him to get me another beer, and he started making muffins.
Randomize
