hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
i woke up with blood and cuts on my face and i don't remember anything after winning four games of beer pong in a row last night. and i'm still drunk.
you are a true champion. bear my children.
He was calculating the number of ceiling tiles when I was on top it was fucking rain man.
Randomize
