also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
Well, I'm eating cake, watching wedding videos of people I don't know, and crying. Clearly I'm a vision of mental health today
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
she just sent our roommates a message asking them for a parakeet. are you gonna call later?
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
Randomize
