My penis looks like a roll of pennies
Oh. Ok. I get the hint.
Like a roll of pennies where the paper got wet & then dried all wrinkly and weird...
I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
Yea i think drunk-me kept all my bar receipts, just to throw it in sober-me's face.
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
A guy in a chewbacca suit just came up to me and asked me to buy him weed.
Randomize
