Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
listen if there's one thing I'm asking of you tonight is that you buy me a cow for my farmville.
Tell me you're stoned. It's 2:40am.
Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
I ate the last cupcake. I'm sorry. It was in the refrigerator mocking me. So I ate it. And it was glorious. But I'm sorry.
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
Randomize
