Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
come over after work tomorrow, liz and i will make all of your wildest dreams come true. so long as your wildest dreams involve drinking champagne at my house with two girls who won't have sex with you.
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
Someone put a huge skyy vodka bottle in our washing machine. My roommate didn't see it and ran it. The washing machine split in two. #life
Ew. He is mine. We all know that if he has a mid-life crisis and decides to sleep with a student, I AM THAT STUDENT. She's not friends with him on FB. Reassuring.
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
So....I just took a paddle fan on high speed to the side of the head while getting head...still finished the job, good thing I'm drunk and couldn't feel it.
I told my manager that I would be coming in to work either high from edibles on purpose or tripping on acid by accident so he knows to check my work tomorrow.
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
Randomize
