Charged a drink to your name last night. Thanks for the whiskey
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
It's like my life is one of those movies where after a bunch of outlandish events that only happen in a movie the girl realizes her true life calling and lives a great life with a sexy man of multiple races. But I'm stuck in the fucked up part where 25 year olds come in their pants.
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
Learned two new lessons today: 1) Do not identify pills found in one's car by taking them to see what happens, especially while at work, and 2) There is no logical reason to keep ambien in one's vehicle...
Randomize
