If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
I just counted my steps so I know when you start looking for you on my way back from the bathroom
You know how us drunks love counting steps
New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
He was a half hour late. His excuse was that his brother knifed him right before he was going to leave. I didn't believe him until I saw the gauze.
Randomize
