i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
it looks like my getting laid tonight is going to depend on my knowledge of native birds. this is a weird party
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
Apparently, the right response to, "How do you feel about a terrorist being in the area?" isn't, "Well, we have vodka in the freezer, so we're good for now."
Got drunkdialed by my estranged mom while wallowing in pinkeye drinking 100 proof eating ramen alone. Year summed up perfectly.
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
there is glitter all over my balls
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