she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
There was a reason that "Throat Warrior 2011" was written on my martini glass. He said my title was undisputed.
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
I’m getting reeeeaaalll tired of telling cute boys I gave them chlamydia.
That’s two in three months. You really know how to live.
My ex boyfriend literally just asked "who needs porn?". This is EXACTLY why I dumped his ass.
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
Randomize