hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
I want a bottle of whiskey to be dropped at my doorstep like a stork drops babies when they are delivered to their parents.
God what have you done to be that much in need of alcohol.
Me WANTS my preciousssssssssss
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
Randomize
