you're like a bully in the Christmas story
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
I think I'm still drunk...I just gave my empty conditioner bottle a break-up speech before I threw it away.
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
This wine tastes amazing. It's like a fermented hug.
I just want to sit in my tub, drugged out of my mind, and watch the green lantern cartoon while the world as we know it ceases to exist outside my bathroom door, Okay? Is that REALLY too much to ask?
When your grandma invites you to a sweet girls' Valentine's dinner with your mom and sister, but you have to decline because you're trying to get two dudes to rail you at once...
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
Randomize
