Alright folks.. i have made history - I just hit my 2nd PARKED car SOBER withing 6 months.. :*( wtf?!
that's an acceptable place to lick
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
Ok. So I've woke up in a hospital. New thing to top that.... Waking up and realizing you've been locked inside the bar by urself at 430 am and all the doors are locked by key
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
Randomize
