Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
That little tingle vodka gives me in my esphagus is what lets me know I'm still alive.
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
He texted "fuck you" before blocking me on all social media. Come to think of it, that's also the last thing my mother said to me. Could it be that I'm the problem?
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
You put a bag of sliced onions in the microwave then screamed, "voila, onion rings!"
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
Randomize
