you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
Apparently, I woke up in the middle of the night, got up out of bed, dropped trou in the corner, squatted, and pissed on the carpet. When Eric heard, he thought it was the dog and started yelling, and I responded by saying "No no, its okay. It's me."
yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
He accidentally opened the car door during sex and all the lights came on. Needless to say, that kid passing by who was walking his dog got scarred for life.
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
Randomize
