he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
Shit. I'm running the whole hotel right now. The front desk girl had to run home because she left her vibrator on the counter and her brother, mom, and grandmother surprised her and are showing up to her place before she gets off work. This will end badly no matter what.
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
Randomize
