so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
She went to the bathroom before i broke up with her so i changed all 2500 of her songs on her computer to "I'm a cheating whore"
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
Bro, you're like, my right testicle. Can't go anywhere without you.
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
Randomize
