I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
There is an old man sitting across from me. Phone rang and his ringtone is children giggling, I'm not safe here.
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
I'm going to knit you a pair of furry handcuffs. And you said that knitting class was dumb.
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
Also I'd apologize for texting you flipping my shit about the science of hair growth while I was shrooming last night but we know each other better than that
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
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