I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
I need to be more functional. That doesn't mean I'm going to drink less, I just need to wake up and shit
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
I have a burn on my hand, I'm covered in bruises, I think my toe is broken, and I have no clothes to wear home.
Stop letting me drink alone on saturdays. My last 2 google searches were "short legs" and "caterpillar eyebrows" ? I don't even know.
Randomize
