i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
the only difference between me and a prostitute was that i complained a lot more.
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
Truelife: I made out with my ex-boyfriend's girlfriend this weekend. Thank you Captain Morgan...
Was she wearing cherry chapstick??
No. Life's not always a fairytale.....
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
Randomize
