Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
My right boob is officially about a handful while my left is 1 and 3/4 handfuls. I'm staring at the mirror falling into a deep depression.
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
You know how hard it is to jerk off in a bathtub with a dog staring at you?
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
Would it be appropriate to cancel a hookup to watch the golden globes?
absolutely. tina fey and amy poehler trump everything.
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
I feel very compelled to cut off the person's ears that is sitting in front of me
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
I'm pretty sure I just won at life. I touched the bushy tail of a squirrel while he had his mouth full and was digging in a plant on campus. That is all.
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
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