I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
So I just went home and made my own spanx by cutting the legs off of a pair of nylons. I'm either a genius or missed my calling to live in a trailer park.
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
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Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
If I end up married to you I better get lots of orgasms to help me forget I failed at life.
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
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this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
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