butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
I got three cases. When they asked for id I said it was suspended for drunk driving.
She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
Just registered some guy for opium withdrawals. WTF opium withdrawals, who does opium anymore.
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
I just did a line of coke with an Olympic bronze medallist. I guess we know why he only got bronze.
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
All I’ve had today is sex and water. I think it’s time for tacos.
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
Randomize
