My e-date is really photogenic. Real-life not so much
why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
I fed the cats at 7 am, made her eggs, gave her oral, and now I'm helping her clean and baking her brownies. Cosmos got nothing on me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
Just had a 40 min argument about how many celebrity guest appearances on Sesame Street were court ordered for DUIs.
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Randomize