i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
You're a waste of cheezeits
It's hard to hold down the snapchat button for video while thrusting. Sorry if the cinematography wasn't Oscar-worthy.
Text me if something catches fire and I will put pants on
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
This is an alert from the drunk police: you have reached the point of no return. Text messages past this point are illegible.
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize
