i can't believe i haven't brushed my teeth. and i just kissed my grandma. I'm going to hell.
It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
Drunk me thought he was hot enough to overlook the fact that he had poison ivy and still have sex with him. Sober me wants to know if you have any calamine lotion.
This bitch flirting at the bar needs to close her legs and open up a book. I can literally feel my IQ dropping every time she bends down to show her tits.
Jealous?
Very.
So there I was praying he didn't go limp again, choking on a long, long gray ball hair. This is my Saturday night. This. Is. My. Life.
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
Randomize
