Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
Hey Im running from the cops. hiding in a bush. when you're approaching the intersection honk the horn twice and I will come out.
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
How drunk are you?
Completed.
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
Randomize
