Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
My bed is full of blood and feathers
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
Tbh the only thing I was fully concerned about from the dream was what type of fucked up parallel universe doesn't have Coca-Cola
I'm about to eat a honey mustard chicken salad on the toilet while I try to shit. You really think I care about what "kind of guy he is?" The fuck out of here.
If you don't care, I don't. Good luck finding prince charming.
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
On the plus side, he ate me out and gave me an orgasm. But he also talked about robots during sex and mispronounced it like the dad in the goldbergs and called them “robits”
Randomize
