Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
My "High Times" magazine came in today, as well as my girlfriend's new sex toys. We're calling in sick today.
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
Fuck. That. I'm gonna get drunker and make them regret they EVER put me at the kids table. I'm a MAN.
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
Randomize
