It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
I set the bag of cheetos on the open box on my coffee table while I was watching TV. I was so high I ate half of the styrofoam peanuts in the box by accident. Am I going to die?
I hope so
The amount of pregnancy tests I've taken in my life is unhealthy
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
He is indeed a crazy mutha fucka. But mark my words. MARK MY WORDS. My job has placed me at the same party as Tom Cruise. I. Am. Fucking. The. Crazy. Out. Of . That. Alien . Fucker.
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
Randomize
