Call me Kermit cause I'm about to go piggin
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
Let's get the cat blown out
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
Randomize
