One girl and one boy is just not enough.
I want to have your abortion
Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night.
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
Too bad Amazon Prime wouldn't get the wine bra flask to you in time. Concealed alcohol and huge tits? Win-win.
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
Drunk is a universal language darling
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