I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
You made me take a photo of you under the stairs at the bar. "Look I'm Harry Potter."
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
Hey man, when I left for work she was laying on the couch naked cuddling your keurig, can you clean that mess up?
Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
Randomize