ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
i told him he had the best dick i've ever seen. then supposedly i kept repeating "peter piper picked the perfect penis"
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
someone just sent me a bong wrapped in christmas paper in the mail. signed 'santa'.
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
I woke up next to her will a oven mit taped to my cock. Dear god, I might have tried to use it as a condom.
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
The lady at Walgreens was all excited my pregnancy tests had a coupon.
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
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