I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
dude we were spooning naked in bed with her ass in my crotch. she sharted in her sleep all over my dick.
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
people are starting to question the shark bite story
An alarm set every 45 minutes saying "FATTY" and one every afternoon saying "CASPER" every day until spring break is a foolproof plan to being bikini ready
My 10 year old brother handed me a pack of condoms and said "here, i don't wanna be an uncle yet."
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
Have I told you recently that I love you, if for no other reason than you make my irresponsible substance abuse look tame by comparison?
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
I'm going to sing sad and lonely Barbra Streisand songs at the top of my lungs if you don't get here soon
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
I love you, but seriously, that was way too long a thesis on an Arby’s curly fry being wrapped around schlong!
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