3:40 am: you never wrote back on my facebook wall
sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
You're the Michael Phelps of my vagina. Most decorated Fuckolympian of all time.
Am I going to be on condom boxes?
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
And the next thing I knew I was blowing this random hot italian bartender with an uncircumcised penis in his work closet
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
Randomize
