worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
What am I supposed to say? "Hey remember last spring when I did an ergonomic assessment on your office, well here's an ergo for your dick."
I have "if found please return to" written in sharpie on my arm, my uterus is rejecting everything, and I have hickies. I must actually be an 18 year old piece of shit girl instead of a responsible 23 year old
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
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