Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
Just stole a pregnancy test from Wegmans because I didn't want to pay 13 dollars to find out my life is over.
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
My gut is currently telling me that Jesus did not intend for us to eat shrimp pad thai on Easter
Is this a considering it or regretting it text?
I just shit out what feels like an entire shrimp with claws and all. You tell me.
Sorry for all the snapchats, I wanted you to feel like u were in America getting plastered with me
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
I just had the polyamorous Canadian hockey player do the splits while naked in a handstand at my apartment just now. And yes, I know it’s 1:30am on a Thursday.
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
Randomize
