i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
One fish gets drugged and suddenly I'm labeled a bad pet owner. This is so unfair.
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
no one ever believes me when I try explaining to them that your straight. I'm all like, "yeah that's his girlfriends dress he's stretching out"
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
I just spent 30 minutes plucking my 2 month grown out pubes with tweezers so I’m hope your night is going better than mine
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
Randomize