More tranny stories later!
That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
Measuring your booze intake in glasses is like measuring Rosie O'Donnell's weight in ounces.
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
Because I can't get laid, I'm day-drinking and hunting squirrels in the backyard. You can take the girl out of Montana...
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
Can I even tell you how badly I want a day that is just on and off napping and sex with intermittent snack breaks? Because I want that day very badly.
I have never seen a more amazing text message in my entire life.
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
My walk of shame is starting to become positively reinforcing; I stop by Starbucks and when I leave I look someone just heading to work.
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
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