I never want to see another naked old woman again.
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
my roommate just showed me the scar on her forehead... that she got from a shake weight... That. just. happened.
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
Randomize
