Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
Woke up with your brother in my bed...where do you want me to return him?
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
I feel very compelled to cut off the person's ears that is sitting in front of me
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
Randomize
