piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
Come put a leash on your gf. She just challenged 8 cops to a wrestling match for 'tag team champion of the world'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
You had a hot dog outside the bar then made me stop at McDonald's for a double quarter pounder. I'd say you've more than filled your drunken meat quota.
The only thing keeping me calm right now is pretending to chop off everyone's heads when using the paper cutter
Have a glass of wine with dinner they said. Your hydrocodone has worn off they said... NOPE
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
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