Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
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using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
So the first 4 hours of my morning was equivalent to seeing under water. Things were starting to get better until I remember I drank mustard for free stuff and flossed my teeth with a strand of hair from a stranger in the bathroom.
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
Because everytime she talks to you she goes in her room and plays Come Sail Away on repeat. Can't take this shit anymore Jake
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
she walked up to me at the bar, kissed me, andthen declared "I HAVEN'T SEEN YOU OR YOUR PENIS SINCE 2011."
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
Woke up to I'm AWESOME written in purple crayon all over my walls. I love drunk me
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
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