how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
Also, I'm sewing my entire Halloween costume by hand. I better get laid at every single party I go to.
He blew a load on his roommates pillow just to piss him off. Why did you introduce me to these people?
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
I don't think he wanted to hear that my most serious relationship was my 1 1/2 year fuck buddy... I think he figured out that's where he's heading
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
If I had to summarise my weekend I would do so using the words "horrifying romanian moonshine"
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
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