I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
Just got back from fathers day breakfast. So hungover i couldn't eat so i just slipped my food in my pockets and threw it out while i puked in the bathroom.
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
Why is my hat full of peanuts?
Don't throw them out, I'm on my way
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
There is a video on my phone of me suckling a bag of wine from your crotch area while you say "The Body of Christ" in a Michigan accent. I vaguely remember being offended by this yet I did it anyway.
Randomize
