My mom came into my room and told me to flip off the tv. I gave it the middle finger. Note to self: STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT
the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
You were running around the house with a purple crayon asking people to call you harold..
I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
I was just walking down the hall and passed a very pregnant girl wearing a shirt that said "blame it on the aaaaaa-alcohol." I can't decide if she's brilliantly witty or just pointing fingers.
i walked in on you eating. you had the fridge wide open and you were rotating between steak and handfuls of captain crunch.
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
Her roommate was talking on her cell when I came out of the bedroom and I definitely heard her describe how shitty and terrified I looked. Awesome.
My mom just busted me rolling a blunt on her bathroom counter. ...all she said was fuck it it's Christmas
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
Randomize
