I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
Sockward: that moment during sexytimes when you realize your socks are still on and you have no idea how to remove them in a non-awkward fashion.
We are in Florida for 3 days. The people in charge of shit brought: a waffle maker, a cheese grater and a SEWING MACHINE
AND NO VODKA
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
The guy I hooked up with last night left me alone with his dog AND IT JUST SHIT ON THE FLOOR. WHAT DO I DO
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
Randomize
