Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
Is cereal technically a soup?
Fuck, I'm high.
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
its 3am and I'm taking a bubble bath, this is what taking a day off work at 30 looks like
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
found my cat trying to steal a lighter to hide away for himself. cat what are you doing. don't pocket my lighter.
Randomize
