you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
take the plastic off of my new air freshener and i'm not going to eat you out for a month.
My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
You told the entire McDonalds staff that I was a whore and that you didn't want your french fries cooked.
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
Would it be weird if I told you I thought of you when I masturbated?
Looks like I'm more than just your Mexico mistake...
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
Randomize
