I love black thongs
ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
Some guy on the train just glared at me. So I'm drinking tequilla out of a dixie cup. Go fuck yourself.
Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
I was just texting to see if your vagina was working yet.
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
Clearly the ONLY reason why you were voted employee of the month is because of your upside-down beer funneling skills.
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
Woke up with a padlock locked onto my ear gauge and the first of many sticky note clues on my chest leading to the key.
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