bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
Fuck I am starving. I don't think I've eaten in the past two days.
You didnt need to. Gin is like eggs, its a perfectly nutrionally balanced meal.
my mom found me passed out in the kitchen floor with the Brita pitcher.. Happy Mothers Day
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
I attempted to walk home at 5:30 this morning cuz i was mad at him cuz he didn't want to cuddle and didn't have pizza. I got 3 houses down n fell over.
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
Randomize
