Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
Also, we should really buy some bandaids. Right now I'm using toilet paper and scotch tape, but I don't really think that's sanitary.
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
She dumped me and then asked if I wanted to come to her improv show. Fuck theatre majors, man.
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
My uncle showed up to pick us up at the bar just as I bought a drink so I put it in my pocket #drunksmart
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
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