just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
I swear ... this hickey is a map to Amelia Earhart's whereabouts
i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
You gave the cab driver your pants as collateral while you ran in the house for money.
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
As i was walking home this morning some old lady was walking her dog and i said hello to her as our paths in life met, then i proceeded to puke in someones front yard and never looked back
Listening to Whitney Houston sing the National Anthem while I shit before going out tonight. America.
Hey, umm this is awkward but I want to apologize in case you find gum in your pubes. Not sure if I swallowed it or spit it out. It's all a blur.
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
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