Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
I just had a girl text me from knoxville "come see me. we'll go for drinks and I can make you breakfast"
how do you like your eggs?
over tits
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
I was trying to pee in the bushes and the person who lived in the house where the bushes were planted started knocking on the window to get me to stop peeing in their bushes
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
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