The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
When you're opening a bottle of tequila with a golf club, it's probably time to stop drinking...
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
Thanks, girl! That means a lot. I can't wait to share my jail stories with you over salad and cupcakes.
I just wish I had a snapshot of his attempted front flip off the bar. There are some things that are worth getting a life ban for, and the moment of impact with his foot and that lady's face was one of those things.
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
Randomize
