its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
Best news of the day: the hot chick at the funeral was NOT related to me... Thank god
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
I kept reassuring him that I was easy like Sunday morning, not easy like "I've had 6 shots of tequila and haven't had sex in three months"
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
Why do you need me to cover for work?
I wouldn't say NEED but lets just say I smell like guacamole and semen.
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
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