Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
I was just giving a mobile app demo to a client, on my iPhone, when a reminder alert appeared across the page blinking "12pm: go home and give John head". You're an asshole
Hahaha oops.
You thought the flashing lights were strobe lights when they were loading you into the ambulance. You asked the EMT if he had any X.
Randomize
