This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
female sloths literally scream when they want sex and can be heard up to 700 meters away
i think i might be a female sloth
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
Had a dream that you were held at gun point. But I killed the guy. Then we embraced in the biggest hug while everyone around us clapped... Kinda how I imagine our wedding...
So my parents just watched me pour their rum into a bottle and only add crystal light powder, no water... Talk about being judged. All I could say was "Cortland tricks?"
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
Randomize
