that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
Woke up to a huge puddle of water in the living room floor, apparently I made an indoor snowman.
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
I just spent 20 minutes in a Subway trying to take a candid photo of the doppleganger of the guy I lost my virginity to instead of eating. That's all the evidence I need that my life is on track.
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
If you don't come home and fuck me soon I'm walking over there naked and dragging you home by your penis
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