I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
I was stretching naked in the middle of my room singing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow", apparently this is what I do when I'm high and the wifi goes out
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
LOL he's a hopeless romantic now? 🤔 I'd say giving him a bj in a freakin softball dugout isn't the most romantic thing but it still happened
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
we need to open a bar. a bar with... wait for it... A FUCKING BALL PIT.
LOL. Do you guys need a ride home?
No. we're home already. i just thought it was a brilliant fucking idea.
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