i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
It was drunk tag. I was Alice in wonderland chasing a ballerina who was chasing Lance Armstrong who had needles in his arms.
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
A baby just tried to pull out his mom's huge tits at work today and nearly succeeded. I was silently cheering for the little guy.
as your best friend, I hope we never outgrow 'I Just Got Laid' texts
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
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