Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
FYI If I die in my sleep it is because I drank a bottle of coke from 1986. I needed a mixer
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
He wore the same cologne as my orthodontist so all I could think about was how I hadn't worn my retainer in months
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
Our livers are going to hate us.
It's okay, they're regenerative. God wanted this.
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
Randomize