Do you know how easy it would be to shoplift if I was a magician?!
I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
I just realized I had sex more when i looked like a fat elton john. Fuck my life.
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
You know that girl that climbed through my window and got in my bed with me and fucked me? It turns out she was real and has a real boyfriend who is real pissed
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
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