spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
I'm so hungover even the car commercials make me nauseas
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
WHY ARE YOU SMOKING WEED WHEN YOU JUST HAD A STROKE. AND MORE IMPORTANTLY WHY ARE YOU DOING IT WITHOUT ME.
As far as drugs go, alcohol has all the elegance and precision of hitting yourself in the head with a hammer.
Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
I just creeped on air mattress guy's facebook and discovered his ex is the trifecta of evil: tiny, cute, and blonde.
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
Randomize
