I'm at derby!
The kentucky derby! But its night time, theres no way the horses are awake at this time.
why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
I literally just smashed open my grade school piggy bank for beer money. Goodbye childhood. Hellllllo coin night.
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
TURNS OUT they were both cheating. Like the Gift of the Magi except for shitty people
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