The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Randomize
