I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
Abreva sucks. I applied it as directed and now it looks like I fed the herpes. They're throwing a party on my bottom lip.
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
I'm single as of 11 minutes ago. I was the chick who drunkenly tried to climb into bed with you 2 weeks ago. Wanna make this happen?
I just spend twenty minutes scrubing the "Happy Birthday" off of my vagina. He's never gonna forget this.
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
Just a reminder- you dropped broccoli in my car and then felt bad for it and named him Henry
I know. I miss henry.
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